Updated: Jan 22, 2019
Welcome to the New Year and the new KrownMeKing! Like millions of others, I am sure that you all sat down, made resolutions and set intentions for 2019. I must admit I typically procrastinate with first quarter planning. Given that 2017 was such a difficult year I knew that 2018 would require intense focus and healing. With that said, I began setting my intentions for 2019 last January. I felt in the depths of my soul that EVERYTHING about 2019 had to be different, including the way that I approached it.
I thought long and hard about my legacy, who am I? What is my story? How much of me is predicated on my own history? How much of my Father’s sin and my Mother’s pain have been embedded in my DNA? As I sat back and reflected, I couldn’t help but wonder how much of my own pain I am actually carrying? How responsible am I to carry the burdens of the men I once loved, who couldn’t be bothered to figure out how to love me?
The Winter Solstice simultaneously concluded just as the new moon in Capricorn emerged, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It was clear to me that every move I made had already been predetermined, this was so much bigger than I fathomed. The story of my life had already been written and my job was to ensure that I answered my calling. I had work to do! I prepared myself mentally; I sat on the floor in lotus, saged my space and set my intentions. I began my new moon rituals, I wrote down everything I wished to sever ties with. My prayers for discernment had been answered and it was apparent that this new moon would deliver the energy of freedom. I was to be released from the familiarity and comfort I found in toxicity. I knew that as I sat on the floor meditating that this new level of elevation was me, more me than I have ever experienced.
I quickly realized that the level of discernment I prayed for required a deep look within and an elevation in my vibrational frequency that would ultimately change my thought process. In an effort to fully embark on my journey as a woman in transition, it was imperative that I drop any old baggage I was carrying. The damage of failed relationships- I LET IT GO! Feeling like I owed an explanation to anyone who asked- GONE! The emotional scarring of being betrayed by those I’ve told my secrets to- FINISHED! I lit a candle and I burned the paper and severed all of my old ties, simultaneously committing to myself. It was then in that moment that I asked myself, “How can you show up for the world when you haven’t shown up for yourself, Queen?” I lifted the sage closer to my face, with my eyes still closed and screamed my intentions to the Youniverse. I allowed myself to feel the weight of all my burdens release. I am not survivor of sexual assault and abuse- his demons don’t possess me. I am not the reason he couldn’t love women, his momma should’ve taught him better. I deserve my fair share and equal pay; my yoni doesn’t make me any less qualified! I am not in secret competition with any woman I once held in my heart with the highest regards, I love you still and I wish you well on your journey in life.
I forgave myself for EVERYTHING! I promised myself that I would be careful with my own heart, I wouldn’t compromise on my core values, I wouldn’t apologize for who I am. I wouldn’t quiet my voice or downplay my success for another ever again! I would pour into me and love all on me. One thing that I’ve learned is that the Youniverse is good to you as you are to yourself. So as I sat in my new desolate space, in a new city, with new faces and new energy, somehow I grew extremely confident that it would all work out according to God’s plan,
I know I can’t be the only woman in transition??? How is the New Year treating you? Are you on track with your goals? Is your vision board displayed in a prominent place to remind you of what your goals are daily? Share the details! Drop a comment!